Let's all laugh at Man Utd: Istanbald

[Gooner Zig]

I know as fans, people can tend to over estimate ability but this from reddit yesterday really made me do a double take.

 

[Synical]

They are so delusional. I have a Yanited fan who texted me before the Palace match that Asda are doing 2 for 1 on tissues. I'm guessing he was talking about our upcoming match at the weekend, but I was just astonished he sent it at that time because I knew they'd get spanked at Palace. I restrained myself and didn't respond, even when they got slaughtered.

He also sent messages laughing about the fact that we've got no CL trophies in the same week that they bombed out of the CL, bottom of the group, in a group that contained Copenhagen. They've really got no self-awareness.

 

[SuperGoon]

They are so delusional. I have a Yanited fan who texted me before the Palace match that Asda are doing 2 for 1 on tissues. I'm guessing he was talking about our upcoming match at the weekend, but I was just astonished he sent it at that time because I knew they'd get spanked at Palace. I restrained myself and didn't respond, even when they got slaughtered.

He also sent messages laughing about the fact that we've got no CL trophies in the same week that they bombed out of the CL, bottom of the group, in a group that contained Copenhagen. They've really got no self-awareness.

You're a better man than me.

 

[ArsenesCoatMaker]

I can't breathe

I'm going to say it but United's demise is partly Fergie's doing. He won his honours from a spine of RVP, Rooney, Carrick, Scholes, Giggs, Rio, Vidic. All of them dropped off or retired the year after he retired. He didn't have a contingency plan for them dropping off.

United had also dropped from CL Champions, to going out of the CL at group stages, to getting battered 6-1 by Man City in his final years

 

[Synical]

You're a better man than me.

That's a bit concerning seeing as I'm not a man

 

[A_G]

@Paperino another reliable reporter talking about it now

 

[SuperGoon]

That's a bit concerning seeing as I'm not a man

You're a better woman than I am man?

 

[Sapient Hawk]

@Paperino another reliable reporter talking about it now

Manager choice not based on trophies?

United already in the acceptance phase of their conversion cycle to Sp**s.

 

[Batman]

I'm going to say it but United's demise is partly Fergie's doing. He won his honours from a spine of RVP, Rooney, Carrick, Scholes, Giggs, Rio, Vidic. All of them dropped off or retired the year after he retired. He didn't have a contingency plan for them dropping off.

United had also dropped from CL Champions, to going out of the CL at group stages, to getting battered 6-1 by Man City in his final years

The beginning of it is definitely his fault for insisting on Moyes and leaving the cupboard quite bare as you say. Having said that, he also is the one that put them in a position to be able to waste as much money as they have since he retired so a lot of the blame has to go on those who aren't spending it correctly.

 

[Kjipt]

Another great howler from two of the best comedians on YouTube, but it was not this clip I was looking for. I've searched a little for it myself and not found it, so it might not be available in clip format.

 

[Iwobeast]

https://twitter.com/i/web/status/1789067684354617650

 

[drippin]

You're a better woman than I am man?

She's a better man than you are? In these days she can be both a woman and a man.

Maybe you're a better woman than she is? Who knows. It's weird times man.

 

[SuperGoon]

She's a better man than you are? In these days she can be both a woman and a man.

Maybe you're a better woman than she is? Who knows. It's weird times man.

They/Them is a better universe specimen than I am?

 

[Sapient Hawk]

https://twitter.com/i/web/status/1789408148391858266

It's amazing the arrogance this man has when you realise he looks a boiled egg with a beard.

 

[UnitedBeard]

We were the better team today. Took more control in the game. But it’s all about the 3 points, we gave you that goal for your 3 points to stop that cheating city

Right @Juan Matas Beard ?

 

[Xln]

We were the better team today. Took more control in the game. But it’s all about the 3 points, we gave you that goal for your 3 points to stop that cheating city

Right @Juan Matas Beard ?

Somehow we never play well against you imo Like United turns up vs us but lose motivation vs lower table teams

 

[Riou]

They tried their best to keep their master happy, unlucky lads...

...I am sure you will make it up to them by getting absolutely raw dogged without even a meal first, in the cup final in a few weeks though

 

[albakos]

We were the better team today. Took more control in the game. But it’s all about the 3 points, we gave you that goal for your 3 points to stop that cheating city

Right @Juan Matas Beard ?

It was only in second half when you had the first shot on goal.

Enjoy the absolute pasting that City will give you at the FA Cup Final and then maybe you can hope for a Conference League spot.

Also you're -65 on GD compared with us. And you may possibly end up the season in a negative GD

 

[UnitedBeard]

It was only in second half when you had the first shot on goal.

Enjoy the absolute pasting that City will give you at the FA Cup Final and then maybe you can hope for a Conference League spot.

Also you're -65 on GD compared with us. And you may possibly end up the season in a negative GD lol:

You might not realise this, but we set this up for you today to win the league. The goal was given by Casemiro, which is part of the instruction to help arsenal. You can see that today we took control the tempo while you just sit back playing counter but we want you to win the league so we gave you that goal.

I expect you to say thank you not trying to cook me.

 

[Oxeki]

****, what else?

If that's a title winning team then I say "meh"

Toothless against an underwhelming Arsenal

That would be an insult to babies. Barring that tame effort by Cas, did we even have a single attempt on goal?

We win this with Bruno and rashford.



Arsenal looked scared ****less all day

Another day, another loss with ETH in charge.

What an utterly dreadful forgettable game of football.



Arsenal were bloody rubbish, and we still did feck all

Not as crap as usual. Still a bit crap.

Happy just to see out a 1-0 loss at home. That's where we are as a team. Elite mentality.

I’m so used to losing

You know what. If we played more possession football like today, we would actually be doing better and likely having less injuries.

Zero threat and Patterns of play on the final 1/3rd yet again.

The coaching staff and a lot of these players need to be shot into space

Don't care.



Sp**s better get something from City.

Fed up of United losing. Bit boring now

Toothless

Let City do they own dirty work.

Could have been worse.



Arsenal were pretty ****. I expected more from a team fighting for the title.

14th loss so becoming routine now. By the end of season we'll have 16 losses, same as our wins...well done ETH!

No urgency in the final minutes. Looks to me we gifted Arsenal the win so they have a chance to prevent City's fourth consecutive PL win.

Thanks Casemiro for slow walking out of the back to give away the goal

Trossard's face is almost as punchable as Ben White's.

Arsenal sat back and let us have the ball knowing full well that we will do diddly squat with it. You could clearly see Arsenal do not play like this at all. They play with a lot more pressing. It’s clear the nerves of the final run-in was at play.



We had so much of the ball towards the end and did not test Raya even once. We were awful in attack.

14th defeat, and added to the negative GD! Wahwoohoo!

Make it 9000 minutes we still wouldn’t have scored.

Probably for the best that Arsenal had zero interest in taking any risks. First United shot on target in the 68th minute. Dismal viewing, but better than a pasting I suppose.

Nervy and scared ****less Arsenal won without breaking sweat against a familiarly clueless United side.



This season is an abomination.

We didn't get ruined, so that's the main positive for today. Quite a dull match, I thought.

I'm not sure we will manage a shot on target in the cup final.

Get in, decent result. Expected a thrashing with our first 11. Arsenal weren't great but Casemiro sleeping gave them the win basically.



It's an expected loss like City away was. These aren't the problem, it's all the other games where we've been terrible.

Stayed awake.

Wish I slept

I am EtH out however judging purely on the Arsenal game, I think we pretty played as well as we could given the team that was available to him. It could just be down to Arsenal just being in second gear and not really too troubled by our forward line.

Arsenal didn’t need to do anything. They put us under a little pressure, we folded as usual and they got their goal. Then they just sat in their defensive block and had a little training session.

Let’s be realistic, Arsenal were in second gear. They did what they had to to go back top of the table. This isn’t our fight, we need to secure that 8th place. In Erik we trust

Arsenal coasted the entire game and we never put them under any pressure.



We were abysmal.

Thought we would get chinned, so 0-1 is a lot better than anticipated. That said, Arsenal weren't up to much. Very professional but don't look like a title chasing team to me. Garnacho needs to do more with possession, but had a good game, as did Amad.

Arsenal players will be laughing in the locker room, feeling quite fresh and full of confidence, probably won't have an easier game all season.

Sky laughing at our leaking roof just about sums up the club at the minute.

We now have a majestic waterfall gracing our stadium. Happy **** on United day.